Excuse Me While I Wipe the Snot Off My Screen

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas - meaning, it's 30 degrees and I've been stuck on this couch for the past two days sick off my ass. My nose is raw and perpetually has tissue hanging from one, or both, nostrils like mucus stalactites. There is more pressure in my head than Hulk Hogan's nuts in a speedo. Every time I stand up I feel like a drunk bitch at a frat party. Pretty much, I feel like poopy shit on a stick. I am exhausted and, even more importantly, I'm bored beyond belief.

So, please excuse my brief absence while I lather my body in Vicks and chug Nyquil till I OD.

Happy Demcember, folks!