cultural chess anthropology chess

I really do pay attention in class. I just play chess while I'm doing it. I like to see it like it  exercises my brain more by participating in multiple activities at once. It's multitasking boot camp. Besides, it not like I'm setting up a board and all the little pieces. THAT would be distracting. No no, I take Sarah's laptop, which as a chess program,  and from time to time raise my hand to interject a tid bit of my own personal reflection just to throw everyone off. 

Of course, there are a couple of problems. Every so often my interjections are explicits which attracted a few giggles from my classmates that sit in my near proximity. This happens when my rook on h4 is taken by the queen on d8 which can glide magically (and diagonally) across the board. 

Another problem is that I have come to the realization that Sarah's Macbook Pro is a cheating bastard. It's very rare when I am in the position to actually win. However, there are five times (out of roughly 65 games) that I have been in such position. An example of this was when I just happened, mostly by accident, put Mr. Pro's king in check by my knight leaving only two possible escape routes, one of which is blocked by my bishop - but then.. nothing. The computer all of a sudden freezes.  This isn't a "Oh look, you won. Congratulations." type of thing. There CLEARLY is another way to have his king seek safety. Now, this might cause him to sacrifice his queen, but he clearly has not lost yet. Yet, I get nothing. The pieces just stare back at me like he's saying "You know, I really don't want to play anymore.." I shoot daggers at the screen. 

"What an asshole" I say outloud.

The class snickers. My professor looks offended.

please excuse me over-it-ness

I'm sitting in Religion. That's about it. Just sitting here.

I have had to learn to push out any and all voices - unless it's Fanny or Sara asking me if we're drinking tonight in-which I blurt out a quick, forceful "YES!" then quickly fall back into my state of oblivion. 

Our professor is a 30something year old guy who went to seminary. He has never been drunk. He has never.. well... had.. um.. yeah... he's a virgin. He likes to talk about his girlfriend who he met on eHarmony and encourage us to try it. I'm not taking relationship advice from a guy who is known throughout campus for having a perpetual boner. 

My next gripe - overzealous ridiculously wealthy republicans who can't take a flippin' joke when I inform them that McCain is 23 years older than the state Palin governs. I'm sorry, I don't give a damn WHO you are - that shit's funny!

And also, my advice to the next shmuck who decides to pick an election year to nail the underage daughter of a vice presidential candidate who is known for her staunch "prolife" stance: wear a rubber dipshit.

Well I guess a shot gun wedding is fitting for a member of the NRA. 

"Looky Sarah! We got one o' them queers to plan your daughter's wedding to make it fancy!!"

Let's get crazy!

Steel Blue!

clickme.

Back at'cha!

So I once again have contracted a ridiculous illness that has set me back in every aspect of my life right now.

I really do plan on writing about all the insane adventures that have already taken place, but the nyquil has kicked in (that green moonshine has become a bit of a crutch lately) and I must rest. 

I will, however, quickly go over my class schedule!

Monday/Wednesday/Friday

10am - Cultural Anthropology

12pm - College Algebra

2pm - Senior Ethics (Mon./Wed. only)

Tuesday/Thursday

9:30am - Walking (hey, everyone has to take a PEH class)

11am - Introduction to Religion

2pm - Vietnam History

So there we go. Of course, that doesn't count the meetings and time spent at work. S'ok - just another day in the life of V!

Stay tuned, I WILL be writing when I'm more.. well.. coherent.

love.

fried chicken.

I have had this complete obsession with obtaining a gorilla costume for quite some time now. What I found when shopping for said furry outfit I noticed they were all quite scary and intimidating. Now, I don't want that to be what my gorilla conveys to my adoring public!

SO, I have changed my mind and now am on a quest to work into my budget (which somehow has been occupied by these ridiculous things called BILLS) a CHICKEN SUIT!

I mean, HELLO! Where have I been?! A chicken suit is where it's at! I can only imagine what havoc and ridiculousness I would cause around campus my final year at Peace College. Not convinced? Just look at the damn thing! It screeeeeams V all over it!

What's up chicken butt?

Only thing better would be a chicken driving a golf cart - also in progress.

P90FUCKMYSHITUP

So we bought that P90X program. Well, strike that - Sarah bought it and I'm using it. She/We.. whatever.. purchased it a little while ago and it had been taking up space next to the Wii game system in the tv cabinet. It was then moved to the shelf were it vacated a spot snugly wedged between various history books. I decided to take the initiative and start the program recently. I read the books. I watched the preDVD. I even set up my own random charts which consisted of workout times and what to eat and when to eat it. It's a great program. HOWEVER, I am very convinced on one thing.

Mr. whatshisface is clearly on cocaine. 

I know, I know, working out gets you all ENERGIZED and pumped on life (side note - while typing the word "pump" I first accidently wrote out the word "pimp." Pimped on life. I like it)... but I feel this guy goes a little beyond that and is under the influence of some sort of drug which he happened to cut into his supplement plan.  Even right behind me, the TV is on pause and he's striking his heisman stance with a look in his eyes of pure fervor.

The guy is flat out scary folks - and don't be surprised when he has a heart attack from speed balling on hard drugs and protein shakes.