KENYANS!

I just started taking these pills (thanks mom). They're magic pills. No wait - that would be vicodin. Anyway, it's just a supplement that you take once a day 15 to 30 minutes before breakfast or lunch. You know, one of those speedupyourmetabolismlikeyoujustshovedcrackupyourass pills. I usually don't feel much from them - except when I feel like they aren't working and borderline overdose on them then nearly suffocate in my pillows (gee, that was FUN). However, this one makes me all tweaky. I'm not kidding. I think I just folded 75289134021763078 sweatshirts in less than 3 minutes. So, in honor of supplements that harness the energy of crystal meth I thought this video would be appropriate.

400 BABIES!!!!!


Now, please excuse me while I run 5,000 laps around the bookstore while breaking hangers over my face.


ener-V!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bookstored.

I'm so bored.
I'm the kind of bored that actually physically HURTS.

It's not like anyone is even coming in here because they are scared away by the massive constuction going on directly next to me. Seriously. People are literally knocking down walls. Actually, it sounds like they are attempting to demolish this building from the inside out. I kind of wish they would. I would get the rest of the day off.

I want to go on an epic adventure. Alas, yo no tengo dinero - aka, I'm broke as a joke because of bills. I haven't been to the beach once. I'm from Florida for Christ's sake! I'm uber-European white and it's not like I'm getting any sun in Raleigh because we've been having biblical storms. You know - massive flooding, lightning striking the golden images of my pagan gods.. and locusts, can't forget the locusts. Okay, so it's just been raining a lot.

Everyone has been chatting on with me about their great summer trips and here I am... work... class... sleep. Work.. class.. sleep. Work.. class.. sleep. Thankfully this is my last week of clase de espanol. I have decided that I hate spanish and would rather learn something of more interest - tagalog for instance.

Shit. I think I have homework. Maybe that will distract the pain of boredom for the time being. At the very least it will replace it with cramps of frustration.

v.

Looking Towards the Future

These videos leave me beaming with American pride. I cannot WAIT to see what the next wave of young people bring to our great country.

His Friend Smokes REAL Cigarettes 

I have now lost count of how many times a day I say, "I wanted to do hood rat stuff wit my friends!" 

We Share That In Common

They will never interview anyone live again.

So there you have it. Two shining examples of why I'm moving to Europe.

Door Gym Gem

I just thought it should be known that although it might be true that working out can be calming, relaxing and rewarding, installing work out EQUIPMENT has the opposite effect. (Affect? Effect? You know, that still give me problems to this very day).

While installing a "door gym" I was faced with the difficult task of fastening door brackets and wrestling with elastic cords. Both left me contemplating putting them to use as a noose instead of a calorie burning apparatus. However, I'm sure that would leave me feeling like even more of a failure as I bobbed up and down losing consciousness at the bottom only to regain it as the bungee snapped me back up over and over again.

I keep glancing at the door as the brackets hang loosely from the top, almost mockingly. The extra parts are sitting next to the box with a picture of a guy who is operating a perfectly assembled door gym. I have named him Jim - and I hate him.

"You're gunna touch me"

Completely Uncalled For

I don't really have anything else to say about this except for watch it. I LOVE these guys.

theend.

Tatt-who?

Inked professionals. Now all I need is.. well.. to be a professional!

Please oh please check out the above website. Sure makes you wonder what that doc has under his/her coat, eh? Hey - get your damn mind out of the gutter! I was totally amazed by this and cannot waaaait to be among the successful and tattooed. 

Step on over criminals, transients and the hepatitis positive! Mama's gunna be a big girl now!

Stop Saying Words

I think I understand why the college degree has become the equivalent to the high school diploma. The reason being is because of the rising number of IDIOTS who are soiling the great institutions of higher learning. Everyday I come into contact with someone who I am amazed can convert oxygen into carbon dioxide, let alone pass enough classes to obtain a piece of paper that certifies that they are semi-intelligent. 

Take for instance - There is a girl (I say girl, but I'm pretty sure that the large amounts of METH has aged her body considerably) in one of my history classes who drives me to lose all hope for education at all levels nationwide.  She plops into her desk everyday and rambles on about how many chapters she read the night before as if that would trigger OOO's and AHH's at her intellectual prowess....

 No, I am not impressed at the fact that you will ask a question about the Cold War when we are discussing World War II just because you read ahead of everyone.  I am not impressed that you ask what kind of benefits the Prime Minister of England receives like you have this grand life plan to take over Great Britain. Nor am I impressed that you try to argue with John Crossno (my history GOD) about who did what when and why it was really important. 

YOU are an IDIOT and do not deserve to be in the same class room as me. 

I hate you. I hate staring at the back of your head (because you insist on sitting at the very front of the class so that the professor will be sure to see your hand waving frantically back and forth like you are a Pentecostal having a religious seizure). I hate hearing your voice. I hate when your head tilts to the side while you chew on your pencil pretending to be deep in thought when I KNOW you have had all you ridiculous questions formed out ahead of time. I hate that when Crossno forgets an exact date and you flip through your text book at lightning speed like this is some kind of bible drill competition on speed.  And I hate that you take and extra long time packing your 394183419854235 note books up just so you can engage in conversation with Crossno.. when HE hates you too!

I wish she would read this. But for now, you get to and even that makes me feel just a bit better.

*sign* I need a fucking beer.

V